COCA-COLA 600

NNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




At 20 laps left, my pulse went from about 80 beats per minute to about 200 when *MY MAN* Bobby LaBonte was in FIRST PLACE. First place since 11/2003.....the race was his!
I just freaking could not breath at the final lap.

Johnson won by .10 of a second. **grumble**
Bobby got out of his car and kicked it ...
and I got up and kicked my TV.

ANY GOOD NEWS??????
Bobby's big brother {Terry} was sent to the hospital after his wreck in lap 246, was released to home before race end. Both Labonte brothers ran a good race tonight.

Other good news, my pulse is just about back to normal.

Now I am turning this CRAP off my TV so I do not have to hear the name Johnson any more.

~STILL LOVE YOU BOBBY~

**beware pity post**


I lost it and this time I am not sure how to get it back.

I have been down sick this time for quite awhile, going over two months. The thing is, the doctors are not sure what is wrong.
If I was dealing with my Chiari or even my Pseudotumor, then I would know how to handle it and I could pop out of it fairly easy. I have suffered from those two illnesses for 10 years now. I know there is pain everyday and I know how to live with it. I guess you can say that I accepted that these problems I have are gonna cause me pain for the rest of my life and I got okay with that.

The things that are going on now, I can not accept. Maybe cuz these problems are new and cuz the doctors haven’t figured out what is wrong. I vomit at least three times daily; even water will not stay down. For a month now, I haven’t been able to swallow anything. I have to chase food immediately with a big gulp of liquids or I choke.

Wednesday I went to the hospital for a modified barium swallow. They mixed the barium in apple juice and put the paste on crackers and had me swallow a barium pill.
It didn’t go as well as my last swallow, I ended up choking this time and some of the apple juice I drank to clear my throat went down my airway.
The techs were talking about how small my esophagus is, they had never seen one that small. Also that the muscles in my esophagus are very weak as well as the muscles in my throat and this is why I am unable to swallow. They are certain, as am I, that I have acid burns, from the vomiting as well as the weakness. They just do not know why my muscles are weak and for now we are blaming the Chiari. The Chiari can not be fixed again and there were premature talks about a feeding tube.

Today I get to have a camera put down my throat at the ENT office. He will be looking for a growth of some sort as they could not tell if there was a growth during the swallow.
THAT sould be fun………NOT! Goddess let him knock me out! A great friend of mine will be with me, so if they knock me out, I will be fine and not have to drive.

Anyway, the point of this story is, I am having trouble popping out of it. Out of the funk, out of the sickness. It really was never a problem before, I am stronger than this, and I can feel great even on my worse of days. This time though, it seems that I am not strong anymore. I can’t pull myself up and I just do not know what I am going to do. If it wasn’t for my children, I would just close my eyes and ……...

~I should be cleaning~
instead, here's THIS.........

TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name:	Trish
Birthday:	12/08/1970
Birthplace:	St Louis, Missouri
Current Location:	Affton, Missouri
Eye Color:	Blue
Hair Color:	dishwater blonde
Height:	5'9"
Right Handed or Left Handed:	right
Your Heritage:	german, irish, english, Native America....MUTT
The Shoes You Wore Today:	none- barefoot as often as possible
Your Weakness:
Your Fears:	something happening to my children
Your Perfect Pizza:	none- don't like pizza
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:	getting my Bachelor's degree in law
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:	those cute lil' smilies!
Thoughts First Waking Up:	"where are my pain pills??" or if no pain-"thank the gods for a new day!"
Your Best Physical Feature:	smile
Your Bedtime:	10ish
Your Most Missed Memory:	my grandma
Pepsi or Coke:	pepsi
MacDonalds or Burger King:	neither- the burger king, king freaks me out!
Single or Group Dates:	both
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:	Lipton
Chocolate or Vanilla:	CHOCOLATE
Cappuccino or Coffee:	both
Do you Smoke:	yes
Do you Swear:	yes- too much
Do you Sing:	in the shower
Do you Shower Daily:	yes
Have you Been in Love:	yes
Do you want to go to College:	going now
Do you want to get Married:	again?? maybe, I'm still young.
Do you belive in yourself:	yes
Do you get Motion Sickness:	no
Do you think you are Attractive:	yes
Are you a Health Freak:	only once a year, for a short time
Do you get along with your Parents:	yes, I do now
Do you like Thunderstorms:	very much!!!
Do you play an Instrument:	I play with my guitar, but I'm not good anymore
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:	no
In the past month have you Smoked:	yes
In the past month have you been on Drugs:	yes, prescription
In the past month have you gone on a Date:	nope :(
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:	no
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:	no
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:	no, not even in this lifetime
In the past month have you been on Stage:	no
In the past month have you been Dumped:	no
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:	no, why? you wanna?? I'm game.
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:	nope
Ever been Drunk:	ohhh yes
Ever been called a Tease:	yes
Ever been Beaten up:	yes
Ever Shoplifted:	yes
How do you want to Die:	pain-free & away from the eyes of my children.
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:	a lawyer... if I have time- a Judge
What country would you most like to Visit:	Syria, Italy, & Australia
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color:	blue
Favourite Hair Color:	brown
Short or Long Hair:	long
Height:	5'10" +
Weight:	adverage
Best Clothing Style:	comfortable-prep
Number of Drugs I have taken:	too many to count
Number of CDs I own:	hundreds
Number of Piercings:	6
Number of Tattoos:	none
Number of things in my Past I Regret:	everything from age 13- age 21
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

~Who's the FLIP-FLOPPER??~

I was so excited to hear the news this morning when I seen the headline; "House Votes to Reverse Ban on Funding for Stem Cell Research".
It is about freakin' time, I thought, I never knew what the big deal was anyway. The stem cells where going to be taken from embryos that would be thrown away anyway, so what is the deal??!!
~sigh~

Then I read the article; you can read it here.

What struck me is this paragraph:
Addressing the nation in August 2001, Mr. Bush said: "I have concluded that we should allow federal funds to be used for research on these existing stem cell lines, where the life and death decision has already been made.
"This allows us to explore the promise and potential of stem cell research without crossing a fundamental moral line by providing taxpayer funding that would sanction or encourage further destruction of human embryos that have at least the potential for life."

But Last week:

Mr. Bush reiterated his position on the Castle-DeGette bill. "I made it very clear to Congress that the use of federal money, taxpayers' money to promote science which destroys life in order to save life is - I'm against that," he said. "And therefore, if the bill does that, I will veto it."

I wanna know WHY he is still our leader?? Why?? He makes me sick....I just do not have the words.

This is very interesting, although I am a bit surprised it took so long.

""Law enforcement experts like Mike Weber owns Computer Forensic Investigative Services. He calls the internet the "new" stranger and insist most teens share too much information. ""
{Full story HERE}

I listened this morning to this news cast because it is a concern of mine, having my three children with blogs of their own. I also have friends that will not post a picture of their children on the net at all.

Now this news cast was mainly focused on XANGA and sites such as THIS ONE and THIS ONE.
Click on those links to see the difference between the blogs of those VERY YOUNG people and the blogs of my children. I was just totally disgusted! A person had advised my oldest daughter to make her blog on live journal, advise which was totally wrong and not acceptable in my household.
WHY?
Well, I am a bit....okay VERY over protective of my 3 babies. Having them use Blogger is much easier for me to keep track of in case I need to make changes or tack down am IP address. I just know Blogger like the back of my hand and looking around LiveJournal I was not at all please with what kind of blogs I seen for young people.

My children know not to talk to strangers and they all know the rules on and off the internet. None of them have use of a messenger service like Yahoo or AIM. I am very aware of who post on their blogs, I leave our lines of communication open. I know every minute each one is online and I am in the same room as they are.

Am I worried about psychopaths? Hell YES I am, just not ONLY online. Psychopaths are everywhere, you might end up being married to one someday without knowing it.

I love the fact that my children have a blog, freedom of expression, feedback from others who are on the outside of this family. My children, and myself, need blogs as a form of therapy. I have always had the kids keep a journal but I feel Blogs are much better.

The only problem with kids and blogs are the parents. The parents are not there watching, they are not there talking to their kids, these days parents are just too busy to bother with their own offspring.

I worry at times that I am too overprotective and that I smother my kids. I would rather smother them than have them create a blog like: "RoughChick" and her "I Like it Rough" blog.

**stepping down off my soap box**

Yup- perfict picture for me tonight!
***picture caption:Women do not snore, burp, sweat or pass gas. Therefore they must BITCH or they will BLOW UP***

I am a bit....no- A LOT bummed right now!

It is a little after 10PM and my children are gone {sleep-overs} and most of my friends are at House of Rock listening to the greatest cover band EVER!

I wasn't going to go out, I have no money at all but I thought-what the hell, at least I can see everyone. So, I got dressed, did my hair and when I started to put on my make-up, my body just turned on me. Same shit that has been happening for the past two months!

I am really getting tired of this crap! If I drink water, then the water should stay down, NOT come back up!! Barfing up pills freaking BURNS and taste like shit.

So now, I am here in my messy living room, ALONE, with a headache from hell. I miss my girls {friends} so much and I know that if I could get out to see them, I would feel so much better.
~sigh~
I just hate days like this. My damn doctors better figure out what the hell is wrong with me and FAST cuz I can not do this anymore.

OK so now that I bitched and this has now turned into a whine-post, I am gonna make the best out of a quiet house.
I am gonna let the Chin's run about in their balls and the Hampster too, turn on some music that reminds me of Trixie and CLEAN.

~Turned out to be an okay day~

I woke this morning and ran out the door with the kiddos. They went to school and I went to an early morning doctors appointment. I seen the doctor I spoke about in the last post, the I don't like too much. She surprised me today, actually looking into my history and not just jumping into an easy answer and SHE LISTENED TO ME!!! Very important! She also took me off of 4 of my drugs which is another biggy for me! I am always concerned when doctors add drugs and at this time I am taking 8 pills in the morning, 4 at noon and 6 at bedtime. Now four of those will be gone and later I will be taking more away!! My next appointment with her is in July and she set me up with an ENT on the 25th of this month.

The BEST thing that happened today was, I got to see Nan!! I walked into her old office, walked out and ran right into her in the hallway!! I love spending time with her, she always makes me feel so much better!! I had to take all my MRIs and CAT scans to my appointment, so when I was visiting Nan, we had a great time looking at my WAY-misshapened head! The CAT scans look like they belonged in the new Star Wars Movie.

So anyway, here I sit, tired as hell, need to nap but can't for some reason.
I just remembered I need to go back to Quest Labs for a re-collect. I was supposed to do that after my doctor visit. ~sigh~ I guess I will wait till the kids are out of school and take them with!
I will just kick back till then! I have a little over an hour.

***A not so Quickie 4 ya***

Sorry if I made 1 or 2 of you worried, didn’t mean to, not a lot I can do right now. I have been in bed, well.....couch & recliner, vomiting with a fever hanging around 102. for the better part of 3 weeks now.

I have not been going to school, which means my main classes will have to wait till fall ~grumble~
I have not been working at the kid’s school, which means no whopping $200. check at the end of the month, that being the last check of the school year. I am not sure when I will be able to return to work or school.

I have seen 2 doctors so far, neither knows what the hell is wrong. I finally told my rheumatologist to just tell me that I have some kind of killer disease and I am going to die. It would be so much easier to take that way than to sit here like this not knowing a damn thing. At least she understood THAT request but only stated that my fibromyalgia is made much worse by this underling secret problem and this is why my whole damn body hurts and I can not move. Then she gives me 3 more meds and sends me on my way.

I see my neurologist on the 19th, the one I do NOT like. The doctor that told me my problems where, check this out, MIGRAINE related. Yes, of course!!! My problems could NOT possibly be caused from my Chiari and the 7 brain surgeries I had for that, maybe some scar tissue, nawww….couldn’t be. ~sigh~

Anyway, while I rest, in-between bathroom breaks, I focus on my body and I think this all might be caused from an inner ear infection. Simple, huh?? Do you think these doctors, TOP RATED I might add, even thought to consider my inner ear?? NOPE they did not! Why?? Well, because I am just too complicated for that. Too complicated to have anything a normal human being could have.

So my symptoms are, high fever with chills and mainly unbreakable even with a Tylenol, motrin mix. Body pain [mainly my fibro] Ever single time I turn my head, even slowly, I get so dizzy, like the room in on hyper-drive spinning mode that I feel like I am passing out and then I vomit- every time. What do YOU think it could be??

Today has been a good day, aside from body aches, I have had a low-grade temp, staying around 100-101 and I have only vomited 3 times. For some reason I can not sleep right now, to many things going through my mind.

My house is trashed and I am trying to figure out how to help my kids to clean. Trust me, they need help! It will take an army to clean this hell hole and I have no idea where to start.

Ok….it has taken me about an hour or so to write this…..make that 4 times vomiting today or will that one count for my 1st tomorrow?? I hurt, I hate feeling this way, I miss my friends- the ones that DO post and the ones that OBVIOUSLY have no idea HOW TO POST ~grumble~ No worries I still love you all.

I will try to post again soon. I just wanted to give you an update.

MY OLDEST DAUGHTER has a post that updates her feelings on this mess, she needs support badly….all three of them do, so if you have it in your hearts, please stop by their blogs and tell them that I will be ok, please, I don’t think they believe me anymore.
Their links are on my side bar also.
Britt: http://nightshadesmantel.blogspot.com/2005/05/sigh.html
Zac: http://www.zathreslairofdoom.blogspot.com/
Sam: http://funkyflyingmonkey.blogspot.com/

~I'VE BEEN TAGGED~

My good friend Sharon tagged me with this Meme about a week ago, I am finally up to completing it! Then I will tag YOU! {{evil laughter}}


What follows is a list of different occupations. You must select at least five of them. You may add more if you like to your list before you pass it on (after you select five of the items as it was passed to you). Of the five you selected, you are to finish each phrase with what you would do as a member of that profession. Then pass it on to three other bloggers.

Here's that list:

If I could be a scientist... If I could be a farmer...
If I could be a musician.... If I could be a doctor....
If I could be a painter.... If I could be a gardener.....
If I could be a missionary.... If I could be a chef....
If I could be an architect.... If I could be a linguist....
If I could be a psychologist.... If I could be a librarian....
If I could be an athlete.... If I could be a lawyer....
If I could be an innkeeper.... If I could be a professor....
If I could be a writer.... If I could be a backup dancer....
If I could be a llama-rider... If I could be a bonnie pirate....
If I could be a midget stripper.... If I could be a proctologist....
If I could be a TV-Chat Show host.... If I could be an actor....
If I could be a judge.... If I could be a Jedi....If I could be a mob boss....
If I could be a backup singer...If I could be a CEO....
If I could be a movie reviewer... If I could be a monkey's uncle....

These are mine:

If I could be a chef.....I would weigh 500 pounds.

If I could be a llama-rider...I would probably have my subpoena for the Michael Jackson court case in hand.

If I could be an actor....I would break a lot of hearts!

If I could be a judge.... I'd have to move to TX cuz I believe in an eye 4 an eye.

If I could be a lawyer.... if?? phhhaaa...I am GOING to be a lawyer {2006/2007} and I will make a differance.

Now *I* tag:
NAN
Lil' KEL
LESLEY

~POLL~

Yes, I am taking a poll cuz I have a serious question I need answered.


Is it wrong to [want] to become friends with a woman if you where with her man in the past?

Leave me a comment and let me know what you think. I will expain more in my next post.

Sometimes I run across another blogger that has done this and I just can't help myself.........



You're Lili St. Cyr!


What Classic Pin-Up Are You?
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**WEEKEND UPDATE**

The Wizard of OZ play at the school was a smashing hit and we are all very glad we made it out alive! It was very stressful on the children and teachers/helpers to learn the parts and get it all together. I am so very proud of the awesome job they did!

I also heard the school {kids} got some press this morning on the radio. Jennifer Sparks from KHITS was there this weekend watching the play! She has a neice that goes to Bayless.

Saturday after the play I went out for a little relaxing with the TD groupies. I really had a good time with my friends. Had a little shock to my emotions that night but it was all made much better by nights end. I got home at 3:30ish, after a good breakfast, some great friends, and much needed laughter.

Sunday was just a resting day. I woke with a fever of 102.5 and a horrid headache because of it. Doctor tells me that the fever is caused by me wearing myself down coupled with the Fibromyolgia.
~shrug~ so I feel like shit…..no biggy, I will feel better in the morning.

FYI, Both of my wonderful daughters now have blogs. Their links are on my sidebar. My youngest rattles like a be-be in a box car, my oldest now writes poetry, so I am sure she will keep us entertained.