Profound Passions of Persephone: October 2004

10.30.2004

~*~I HAVE TO~*~

This is a comment I posted to another blog earlier this morning. This blog has been just one of the few that I have read to get POV on the upcoming election. This blog is chalked full of all kinds of emotions. Now I spoke to S about my feelings on this, I have always felt this way. It is NOT the way that most women want to look at and I KNOW this is going to start a flame war but....I CANNNNNN'TTT STTTOOOOPPP IT...
WORD VOMIT..............
blahhhhhhhghhhhhhhh
Just gonna post the comment so I don't go into a rant at 4:30am.....Comment if you wanna.....I will read and I am PREPARED.....sigh....

"OI
THIS is exactly why WOMEN should NOT be allowed to talk or even think about matters involving Politics.
The MAIN reason this election year is the most emotionally driven is souly on the shoulders of WOMEN.
WE are full of too many EMOTIONS-

EMOTIONS have NO PLACE in POLITICS -
EVER.

I am so sick and tired of Women PUSSYFING our men. For instance.....
Amazonia's dom is soooo hushed by her LOUD Political mouth that he is afraid to speak his own words on the matter.
IMHO, Amazonia, Dear, you SHOULD be on a shorter leash and you should be beaten BLOODY every day until the next election.

Spoken by a WOMAN, 33 years old. Thank you for listening!"

BTW- all 10 of you wonderfully emotional people are very welcome for the extra blog traffic!! I know there are just tears of joy!

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10.28.2004

~*~ A thought ~*~

Written while waiting for the kiddos today at school. I hope you all enjoy.

If my eyes and heart are open
to receive new impressions,
Each day will be a new adventure.
Even in the monotony of my life,
No two days are ever the same and
the differances will reveal to me a
Succession of fresh delights-
If I am Willing.
~PRM 10/2004~

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~*~ FOLLOW THAT GUT ~*~

Ain't kiddin here. If you have a gut feeling about something, NOW is the time to follow it, I did!

After much careful consideration I went out to find a job today. It wasn't hard, I am actually a rehire at an office 45 minutes away. The rate of pay MIGHT have paid the gas to get to work and back home and really was not worth loosing my SSI. On the drive home I had this gnawing feeling to just "look" for a place.

I had lunch with mom, she works in a huge industrial park. As I was leaving, it was advised that I stop in at this new company and I did.


B.I.N.G.O.

I walk in....{{in my best 12- step program voice}} "Hello, my name is Patricia and I need a job."

Obviously it worked cuz the owner came to me and said...
{{in his best 12-step program voice}} "Hello Patricia, I am David, Welcome!"

We talked a bit, I was honest, SAHM for 10 years, disabled...blah blah....

He Hired me right off the bat.....When I finally got around to asking the rate of pay...

Says he...{{calm as can be}}
"Well, you know how to sew, I like you, I am sure you will be a great worker and I have no problem paying you $16/hour."

Says me..."DUH! Wha....$16/hour? ~clears throat~
{{not to over-anxious}}
hummm, *Deep breath* that sounds pretty good."

We took a walk around the factor, shook hands and I left.......BEAMING

To be honest here, it is not the money, even though that is a HUGE PLUS.
I mean let's face it. I just took myself and children from poverty level to middle-class in one afternoon.
The best thing is, I am doing this by myself. Just me taking care of ME....no man doing it for me, no man living with me.
However, there is one VERY SPECIAL man in the picture. He lives soooo very far away. It is His boot in my ass that made this happen. Without him I would have slept all afternoon and kicked myself for not having food to feed the kids next week.
I know cuz that is all I have been doing for the past year.
Now I know it was my feet that walked me into that place today, but I NEEDED that kick so VERY badly!

YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE
I want to say THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART!
You are such a very wonderful man! May God bless you always!

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10.25.2004

Had to give my blogroll a trim.
You might notice that your blog is missing-
do not fret...
I moved you to my other blog.
I moved like 20 of you over there. If you don't know what that blog is, drop me a message and I will let you know.
Still LOVE you all VERY, VERY much!

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'Tis the time of year we find out why this hell hole is called MISERY.

Our weather is just beautiful today! Low 80's, sunny a little breeze, perfect actually. I can live with this weather all the time.
The problem? Well two days ago we were in the lower 40's and rainy. Bone-chillin' coldness.
I already have my first cold of the season. I can not get my flu shot this year. I am suppose to have one every year. I just don't see how it is very sane to stand in the cold rain for HOURS waiting for a shot that most likely will not be there. I would much rather stay in my home, safe and warm, away from all the wet germies.
The kiddos bring home enough anyway.

SO anyway....I am doing good here. My life is taking a 90 degree turn at 300 MPH as I sit in the passenger seat letting my hair whip my back bloody! AAAAHHHHHH
It's all good! I am a single mom of 3, we all four need discipline. Honestly we have been very happy this past week with rules to follow and a cleaner house. We have worked very well together. I am beginning to get my priorities in order and fix myself. It feels great. Sure I would LOVE to play with my friends all the time, but I need to grow up and take responsibility for my family. I go out when I get things done here and have a GREAT time!

In fact I was asked to go out on the 30th with the girls again. I have to dress up {Halloween}
Anyone have any ideas on what I can dress up as without going out and buying anything???
My ears and Comment box are open!

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10.21.2004

NL CHAMPS!!!
I'VE GOT THE FEVER!


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10.19.2004

~*~ HAIL NIKE ~*~

What a Kick A$$ Monday Night In Good Ol' Saint Lou!!
The Cards are in the playoffs......
The Rams are fighting for first place.....
Both are on TV tonight at the same time!!!
YES I needed TWO TV's! WHAT? You thought I would miss even a MINUTE of either game???
OHHH Come now, You must know me better than that!

MY SET UP

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10.16.2004




  1. Dimension:: Mind
  2. Roger:: over
  3. CSI:: drama
  4. Passenger:: 57
  5. Thankful:: gratitude
  6. Has-been:: will-be
  7. Bambino:: joy
  8. Wrinkles:: experience
  9. Cable TV:: baby sitter
  10. Voicemail:: blocker




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~*~ Who the HELL are you and what did you do with our mother??~*~

Yeah, that would explain the look on my children’s faces as I gave the three of them butt whoopin’s. The first, I might add, in their young lives!
I have decided that I need to take charge here. I am a single mom; my babies are 12, 10 and 10. They are very quickly developing smart mouths and major attitudes and I, all the sudden, need to learn to be a mom.
Up until this point, it would be fair to say that I have done nothing short of spoiling my children. They have always gotten what they have asked for, one way or another and they have also been able to talk to me in any way they have wanted.
Now I know how I was as a teenager and I had discipline. I can’t even fathom how children turn out that have none. My children will turn out like me, or worse than me, OVER MY DEAD BODY.
I have a wooden paddle, shaped to closely resemble a wooden spoon but 50% larger. I wrote “LOVE” in magic marker on it and it now has become our love board. I sat the kiddos down for a talk. I let them know that I will not accept back talk, tantrums or bad grades. I also will not accept living in a pigsty. I let them know, it is not only them that I am changing now, it is also myself and I know it is not going to be easy.
Brittany flipped to say the least. You woulda thought I killed her best friend in front of her. Zachary has been pretty quite, aside from fighting with his sisters when he was suppose to be working on his room. {{WHOOPIN’}}
Samantha will be my test. She has questioned why I was taking a break from cleaning, told me that this new “thing” I was doing wasn’t going to work, rolled her eyes…..
{{WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP}} YES Mom DOES mean business this time!
The MOST amazing thing I saw, however, was Brittany’s hatred for the “new” me change over to admiration. She was beginning to look down on me and now is looking up at me again! Thank Goddess! I was sooo worried about her!
I had to take a couple days to get to the point of enforcing the new “laws” and now that I am here, I know I have to be EXTREMELY consistent. I cannot slack not even once for a very long time.
Being a mom is really hard! Pray for me!

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10.14.2004

The Thursday Threesome (10/14)

::Kitchen Gadget Store::

Onesome: Kitchen- What's your favorite room in your place? Do you migrate towards the kitchen, or prefer to cozy up in the living room? My bedroom is my fave place. I have the whole set-up in there, bed, PC, coffee pot.....

Twosome: Gadget- What's your favorite gadget type item and why? The fork.... because you can use it to eat with, cook with and poke people with if they annoy you!

Threesome: Store- What's your favorite store, even if you never actually buy anything there? Pier one


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~*~ BORED~*~

How 'bout
or
Flinging a Kerry??

Go ahead and try the links, it will be fun and you can toss around the head of the one you don't like!!
What could be better??

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10.13.2004

I am finding it very interesting that politics is actually an extremely emotion subject. I am actually thankful for the debates. Without them,in most cases,I do not believe that people would be able to get there points across without blood oozing out their ears.
That said, I am having a GREAT DEBATE in my comments, a couple very close friends have chimed in on different issues. I ASKED for opinions, I need your feelings on these truths.
So I AM going to continue this debate, please if you have anymore to say....plz do so!

Where I am right now? What am I looking for?
I want the real issues here, not the lesser ones. My future and the future of my children are very important to me. These are true issues to me. Abortion, an issue very close to my own heart, is a lesser issue at this time. I could make this very easy on myself and say that Kerry has my vote for the way he feels about my personal rights, because they are very hot issues.
My concern is, are my children going to be able to have careers or will they be trapped in the welfare system? Now when I say trapped it is from personal experience where I have needed help and received it then basically threatened when I wanted to make something of myself. This has happened during democratic presidency and during republican presidency have been offered the chance for schooling. Now it is NOT easy to get off welfare but really, why be stuck there forever? And why have baby after baby just so you can have free money?
I just want a safe, FREE, educated future for my babies and I need to start here.
Keep in mind, before now, I went with the flow. If I liked you of if you were in my family, I voted like you.
It is MY time now to vote for ME and I need input!

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10.12.2004

Angel
You are one of the few out there whose wings are
truly ANGELIC. Selfless, powerful, and
divine, you are one blessed with a certain
cosmic grace. You are unequalled in
peacefulness, love, and beauty. As a Being of
Light your wings are massive and a soft white
or silver. Countless feathers grace them and
radiate the light within you for all the world
to see. You are a defender, protector, and
caretaker. Comforter of the weak and forgiver
of the wrong, chances are you are taken
advantage of once in awhile, maybe quite often.
But your innocence and wisdom sees the good in
everyone and so this mistreatment does not make
you colder. Merciful to the extreme, you will
try to help misguided souls find themselves and
peace. However not all Angelics allow
themselves to be gotten the better of - the
Seraphim for example will be driven to fighting
for the sake of Justice and protection of those
less powerful. Congratulations - and don't ever
change - the world needs more people like you.

Image Copyright Sheila Wolk (prints available
through treefreegreetings.com) - words added by
myself.


*~*~*Claim Your Wings - Pics and Long Answers*~*~*
brought to you by Quizilla

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10.09.2004

~~Does President BUSH got WOOD?~~

To most of you if comes as no surprise that I know nothing of politics, in fact, this is the first election that I have actually watched and paid attention to the debates. So I need help here!
I consider myself Democrat, I am a low income single mother to 3 children and I have not seen any Republican issues that have even come close to involving me at all.
Tonight, however, I have to say that I am torn. After the first debate, my idea that Pres Bush is a mentally challenged man was verified. He was only able to repeat himself and make funny faces.
Tonight, he was prepared.
I think I have to say that, aside from the abortion/stem cell issue, that he actually won this debate. There is a good reason I say this. It has been said that Kerry lies about certain things and is wishy washy.
I researched Kerry's standing on certain issues, seen how he voted and I know he is considered "wishy washy" only because of the way Bush words things.
HOWEVER, tonight {while discussing tax breaks for business'} Kerry stated that Bush OWNS a TIMBER COMPANY and is considered a small business owner and reaps those tax benefits from this. Bush was, IMHO, legitimately surprised by this.
Did we catch Kerry in one of MANY LIES?? Only one slip-up?? What?? {{scratches head}}
I also found out tonight that the current and widespread rumor that Bush has a draft plan ready for 2005 is a LIE. IMHO, Bush was legit when stating this also.

Questions where asked dealing with issues close to my heart that both candidates had good answers for.
#1 Bush + Abortion.... He is against it, signed the bill banning partial birth abortions and signed the "Unborn Victims of Violence Act".
ON STEM CELL RESEARCH- only for umbilical cord research and not even really for that.

##Kerry + Abortion.....Says " I am Catholic but I can not take my article of faith and impose it onto someone else of a different faith"....Says "I will not tell a 16 y/o who has been raped by her father/impregnated by him to go get permission from him to have an abortion!".....Says it is NOT as simple as Bush says it is....Each case has to be looked at individually!
STEM CELLS?? YES...There are thousands of frozen embryos that will be destroyed or just stay frozen, we could use these. He is for an ETHNICAL EMBRYONIC STUDY!

ME + Abortion & stem cell.....I AGREE with Bush and banning partial birth abortion, HOWEVER, I agree with Kerry about it being on an individual case basis.
I know of a few women that would and HAVE used abortion as birth control, I also know of some that have NEEDED abortion!
The "Unborn Victims of Violence Act".....YES, IF the woman is over 3 months along. I just do not believe that most souls enter the infants body before 3 months of pregnancy age. That is also why I agree with the banning of PARTIAL Birth Abortion {{unless needed}}. If an abortion is called for it should be done before 3 months of pregnancy.
STEM CELLS- YES, especially if abortions are being done. Why not? If you have the tool in your hand, why not use it?? I am sick, I want and NEED a cure. There are many like me and MANY worse than me who can benefit from this research. We might not get a cure for everything in our lifetime, but think about our children.

In closing on the debate, Bush was asked the last question. He was asked to ADMIT 3 MISTAKES he has made. He couldn't do it, the only thing he did was say where he thought he was right about this war.
Now- we ALL know that he HAS made MISTAKES, broken promises mainly. He broke his promise for a True global Coalition..{{he pushed our allies aside to get HIS enemy}}, He said he would go to war as a last resort? {{Last resort, huh, what was his FIRST resort? I didn't see him try anything else}}, I am sure a few more can be added.
I won't say much about the war because it makes me angry. I STRONGLY believe it was done in THIS MANOR because of a family GRUDGE. Would we have gone to war anyway?? Yes, most likely. Now it has been started, 100's of people die everyday, there is no stopping it. It will get worse before it gets better no matter who we put in office.
So how do we vote??
We keep the Bush Baby in there? I mean, this IS HIS F*ck-up. When one of my kids make a mistake, I make them fix it themselves.
Or
Do we vote in Kerry, who {{MOST LIKELY}} is a liar, but does have 3 purple hearts. {{giggle}} The only government people he seems to have on his side are ALL military, so he must know something.

Someone help me out here....Give me YOUR OPINION!

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Which book has influenced your path the most and why?
As far as influencing MY path, I can't be certain as I am very eclectic, however, all of SilverRaven Wolf's books are used in my home as teaching AIDS for the children.

What person has influenced your path the most and why?
My Great grandmother and great Aunt. I was very young when they both past away, however, I remember the herbal remedies they used to cure anything and everything. They also hand made everything and I remember being able to see and feel the energy they put into their work.

Why are you pagan?
This is hard. I have written this answer, partially a couple times and was not ever quite able to finish. I am Pagan for MANY reasons. I am bettering myself, my environment, my children, their lives, the lives of their offspring....I could go on about HOW I came to be and WHY......The bottom line is, I am Pagan because I am Pagan!

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10.07.2004

What is the most functional word?

Well, it's shit.
That's right, shit!

Shit may just be the most functional word
in the English language.



Consider:

You can be shit faced,
Shit out of luck,
Or have shit for brains.

With a little effort, you can get your shit together,
Find a place for your shit
Or decide to shit or get off the pot.

You can smoke shit,
Buy shit,
sell shit,
Lose shit,
find shit,
Forget shit,
And tell others to eat shit and die.

Some people know their shit,
While others can't tell the difference between
shit and shineola.

There are lucky
shits,
Dumb shits,
Crazy shits,
And sweet shits.

There is bull shit,
Horse shit
And chicken
shit.

You can throw shit,
Sling shit,
Catch shit,
Shoot the shit,
Or duck when shit hits the fan.

You can give a shit
Or serve shit on a shingle.
You can find yourself in deep shit
Or be happier than a pig in shit.

Some days are colder than
shit,
Some days are hotter than shit,
And some days are just plain shitty.

Some music sounds like shit,
Things can look like shit,
And there are times when you feel like
shit.

You can have too much shit,
Not enough shit,
The right shit,
The wrong shit
Or a lot of weird shit.

You can carry shit,
Have a mountain of shit,
Or find yourself up shit creek without a paddle.

Sometimes everything you touch turns to shit,
And other times
you fall in a bucket of shit and
come out smelling like a rose.

When you stop to consider all the facts,
It's the basic building block of creation.

And remember, once you know your
shit,
You don't need to know anything else!

You could pass this along, if you give a shit
Or forget about it, because you don't give a shit
Or copy and save it with all your other shit.
But I think that is enough of my shit
for now.


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~*~ I AM GOING THIS TIME~*~

At exactly 6 am this morning, I hear a commercial on TV for a show a Savvis Center. It caught my attention because the background music was "Christmas Eve in Saraievo".
I gave myself whiplash turning just in time to see Trans Siberian Orchestra flash across the screen with a tour date of NOVEMBER 26. FINALLY they are here again and I will not - WILL NOT pass up this opportunity.
Tickets go on sale on the 9th {{in 2 days}}, they seem to have the same set up as Van Halen did so I am pretty sure what tickets I want to get. The tickets are $45 each {if you want a good seat}.
Of course I don't have the money but I have a daughter who plays clarinet NOW and one that wants to play Sax and a son who wants to play guitar..... I MUST take them! Maybe I can write it off as an educational expense?
If you wanna know what to get us for Yule/Xmas.....
WHOOP-there it is!!

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10.06.2004

Just a quick note on breast cancer awareness.
My grandmother had a Radical Mastectomy, both of her breast where removed. Now the story is that she got cancer from the
Dalkon Shield IUD, spreading cancer throughout her body, causing her breast cancer. I myself had a hysterectomy at the age of 25 due to a CIN-III finding on a pap. {semi-active cells only on the cervix}. I also have Fibrocystic Breast Disease and so does a friend of mine. I do not have a fear of breast cancer at all myself. I think I have enough on my plate for this life to suffer though, however, I have two daughters and a niece and many friends that I pray will forever stay healthy. I have a friend whos mother is a survivor and I am sure you also know someone who suffers or has survived. It is VERY possible to find a cure for this, even in OUR life time, but we need to work together. JUDY RIDE FOUNDATION has pink braclets for $2.00 each. If you are local and want me to do the footwork and run to get you a few, I will. Otherwise you can order them by mail,take a look.

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10.04.2004

All in all, it was a pretty okay weekend. Well, Saturday just....SUCKED but I got some much needed sleep! Too much really as I ended up sleeping 10 hours. WOW my body is SOOOOO not used to that! I woke up feeling like I was tackled by the St Louis Rams Defense, {{Or was that a dream??}} *sigh*
After a pot of coffee, I decided to take that long-promised trip to my grandma's in Kimmswick. I always did love that drive and I was do to go, after all, I had been promising her that I would visit for three weeks now.
It was a GOOD Sunday for the trip anyway.....
The
Rams WON {24/14}and even though Talladega was on today, Bobby is no longer in the race to the Nextel Cup and I am kinda bummed about that. Plus I figure JR will win it anyway....Doesn't he ALWAYS???

So, we got dressed, filled up at the gas station
{{OUCHIE}} It has been a LONG time since I filled up! $22.00 for me today and I started with a quarter tank. Thank goodness I don't drive much!

Got out to grandma's and had a really good visit! She doesn't see the kids as often as I would like her to. We really need to go out there more than we do but our family is not one for visits or get togethers of any kind. We just move on and visit when the mood hits us.
Grandma had a lot of craft items to give me. A LOT to keep me busy, I will be making things for the school play, birthdays and Yule presents! I need to get out there with a truck and get the quilting frame she has for me. It is not as big as I thought at first-just long. Crafting must run in the blood, along with musical ability. We all have it!

****NOTICE****
YOU MUST HOP OVER
TO
BDSM FORUM cuz Patrick has FINISHED his book! {{{claps in amazement}}} What a WONDERFUL book it is! I will warn you, though, if you have NOT kept up with the chapters as they have been posted, you will need to set aside a HUGE hunk of time. You will NOT be able to pull yourself away once you start to read!
OH and you might wanna grab a box of tissues.....


So I know I am rambling but it seems like there is something I am forgetting and I figure if I keep typing I will remember.....

.......humphhhhhhhhh....well....maybe I will remember when I wake from my nap today!
ttfn*********

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10.03.2004

Just need SLEEP....send some ZZZZZZZ's please. My body is too damned hyper for it's own good and doesn't want to rest. If I don't rest, it is NOT a good thing! So it is going on 2, I am taking off work and laying down. I figure I will fall asleep sooner or later if I stay my ass in bed. {{seems like I just told someone else that same thing not too long ago}}
Wish me luck!

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10.01.2004

Pre-read Info: Mom pissed me off! {what's new huh?}
Topic: Single Mothers

Set-up:My children are spending the night at friends homes tonight. BB is at a friends home who only has a mother. The twins are at a home that has a mother and step father. I am a single mother.

Mom's argument's: Having only a mother is horrible for the children because they do not have the financial support that they would have with 2 parents. Poor kids end up living in dumps.

Note: I hung up before I got very irate.

What are MY points?
#1 I grew up with 2 parents and also lived in a dump! Floors rotting beneath our feet, enough roaches to fill Afghanistan, sewers that backed up and spewed raw sewage over 1/4 of the basement.
***At least my children have a CLEAN place to live, clean clothes and appliances that work!

#2 I grew up with a "father" who left me physically disabled for life. {IMHO it is sooo much better NOT to have a man in a child's life if he is like that. There are other members of my family that are going to be "scarred" because the wife is too afraid to leave the abusive husband. I am glad to I am strong, just wish I could be strong enough for them too.}

#3 I am disabled and live in more pain everyday than my mother has ever had to experience and I am a better mother/father figure to my children than she ever was to me. I make sure they are clean, fed, healthy. They are NOT abused at all in any way-EVER because I refuse to allow anyone in my children's life that is going to be like that. ALL 3 of my children are HONOR ROLL STUDENTS.

#4 I refuse to be UNHAPPY, I make up MY OWN MIND and do NOT allow a MAN to do it for me. I set my OWN rules and I break them if I want to without the "fear" of getting beaten by my husband. {{I am talking ABUSE here-don't get cocky about my lifestyle!}}

#5 I believe when you get married it SHOULD be forever, however, reality has shown that there ARE abusive assholes in this world {I married 3-daughter to 1} and NOWHERE in my wedding vows did it state that "I PROMISE TO TAKE YOUR ABUSE!"

Now....I wake everyday to get my children to school. Make sure they are clean and fed and there on time. I make sure their homework is done and everything is signed the night before. I cook, do laundry, clean, give them just about everything they want to have {if they earn it} and I also whore myself out all night long just so I can have that extra income that I need. I should be getting child support from 2 men-but I get nothing at all!

NOBODY, including my mother is ever going to tell me that being a single mother is sad and devastating to my children. Ask them, they will tell you that they are VERY HAPPY and WANT for NOTHING-EVER!

Single mothers are the strongest people I know because we do the work for TWO-not because we WANT to- because we HAVE to. Because at one point in our lives we made a decision to love some man and then made another decision to NOT stay with that man, that our babies are MUCH BETTER OFF AWAY FROM THEM.
The fact that we only have ONE income is NOT deprivation of OUR character.....Just shows what a very clever choice we made!

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Yeah, so I changed it again, so what!


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I had a high school sweetheart. He was beautiful! Adonis type, mulatto with long curls, very popular. We stayed together (on and off) for seven years. His family saved me from mine. He had a wonderful mother, very loving, earth mother who had a large family, a full time job and husband and gave 100% of herself to all of them. She sadly passed away in 1992. She always welcomed me with open arms into her home and life and I always felt loved. Pops {her husband} was the typical laid back type of husband. Loving, caring didn't put up with too much shit. Sadly he passed away also.
I was with my sweetheart through many life changes. We grew up together, learned together, grieved and celebrated together. He is the father of my first born. During my pregnancy is when his mom grew ill. It was very hard on him and he turned more towards drugs as I was turning away from them. It tore us apart and it was not pretty. I ended up the "bitch", the black sheep of all his friends and family. I have always felt that the decisions I made where the right ones for my unborn child and I have never regretted them. I ended up homeless and pregnant. Moved into 2 homeless shelters and somehow got back on my feet with a new baby, on my own in this world. He was not seen again until I looked him up when she was 3 years old. When she turned 7, she made the decision to find him fro herself and we looked him up again. He never hung around long, never gave much of himself. No help, no support of any kind and I never asked for any.
Last night I had a dream about him. About the passion, spontaneity, little flirts of our relationship. I miss it. I do not miss HIM, I miss what I had then. What ever happened to the deep kissing? Calming caresses? Little looks? Passionate love-making that we used to have when we were in young relationships?? Is it just that when we get older we forget how?? Or are we just too damn busy to even bother??
I had to think about this all day to make sure that it wasn't him that I missed. To settle myself enough so that I didn't jump on here and look him up again. I know he is not the only one that can give me this passion- or is he?? I haven't had it since.... Or do I think this simply because I know that I can look him up and have him here tonight so that I can be fulfilled for one night?? Has he felt the passion since me?? I know we felt the same thing together, we spoke of it often. Do people my age ever feel this passion anyway or is it just a dream?

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