I just got back home from seeing John again. Every time we see each other, we have something new to talk about. We give ourselves time to think and last night he thought and today I cried.

He has learned quite a bit about himself over the past two years. He learned how to pay bills, how to make his money stretch. He learned a lot about his emotional state of mind also. Like how he just shuts people out when he has someone new and he has decided now not to shut people out anymore.

People; like Caroline, the girl he has been with for 2 years.

I just get so emotional when he brings her name up. I know it will happen and maybe happen often but she has 2 years with him that I will never get back and it hurts.

We have always had the NON-jealous relationship. We always knew it was US that mattered and when we ended abruptly 2 years ago it was over jealousy and closed minds and the most horrible time in my adult life.

I know that he will always have her in his mind. I know he will never forget the sex, the love, how beautiful and good she is. I can say that I don't want him to forget, but I DO! And I don't know why.

What is wrong with me??

He would never ask me to forget Chad & Leslie or anyone else I have been with. Why do I feel like he should just hit the delete button on that part of his life??

I just don't understand where the hurt is coming from....

Can you help??