~NEWS?~

YES, I have news!

After much consideration and soul searching on my part, I decided to start working things out with my husband.

Now if you have been reading me for awhile, you might remember that our separation was on very bad terms. I definitely stress my "opinions" on my blog and at the time of separation, I hurt badly.

After hours of talking to each other, I see the hurt I caused him and took my part of the whole mess and so did he. We cried a lot during the "talks" we have had and I see a lot of healing is being done with us right now.

John and I have built this relationship on conversing and we had lost that before. I am so glad to be able to talk and be heard again and actually hear him. Some of it hurts but is good at the same time.

He agreed to go see a marriage counselor and take it slow. We both need to get the trust in each other back. I totally killed the trust he had in me and that hurt him the most; greatly saddens my heart to see him hurt. I am not the easiest person to live with and at times I wonder in directions that are not suitable for relationships. {If you know me personally, you know that it is almost impossible for me to admit that I am ever wrong with anything I do}I know I have a lot of personal things that are "wrong" with me, my mom makes sure to tell me that as often as possible. Even seeing a counselor separate will be a benefit so we are considering separate visits also.

We are living apart for awhile and just "dating". It will be hard to know and appreciate each other again but I am sure we will have fun just the same. We never had problems in making the MOST out of a situation. We have been separated for 2 years, there is a lot to learn on both of our parts.

He came over the other night and the kids were so very happy. Britt and Zac even cried. It was very comfortable and natural to have him here, I just wanted to "cure" us in that one night. To have our family back together again will be wonderful!

Any thoughts? It is okay to be honest here.
Will it matter and make a difference? Maybe it will, maybe it won't but if you wanna put in your $.02 go ahead. The friends I have talked to have been open on their feelings about my situation so far and it has helped me look at things I might have forgotten.
Feedback is always a good thing.

Us- September 30, 2001