I am so sorry that I worried everyone. I have been here and I am okay, just a major quite spell.
Actually I think it may be depression but it is different somehow.

I had a visit from 2 of the most wonderful people I know today and every since they left, I made myself busy with the home and have been feeling a lot better!
THANK YOU BOTH and I am very sorry if I made you feel bad, Nan! I really soundn't talk to others when I feel shitty.

I have had a lot of emotions running me lately.
*My babies are turning 11 on Saturday.
*I am a magnet for dumb-shit, lazy ass losers.
*I decided to finally "let go & let goddess" with an ex-friend. It
took me a long while, but I am okay with that all now.
*My youngest daughter is now a woman. I wonder if I am already getting the "empty nest syndrome". Maybe I just need to quite thinking so much.
*Something is wrong with my EX....He keeps calling, depressed sounding and wants to meet up to "talk" but I haven't yet. I wish I knew what is wrong, but it is no longer MY problem and I can't fix him. If I could, I'd still be with him.
*My mom & dad paid $2061.00 to Ameren UE in 2 months cuz my landlord is most likely tapping my wires. I am trapped here cuz all my income goes to rent.
*Found out yesterday that my other EX was in a serious car crash {drunk driving} and lived to get drunk another day. He lives with his mom and supposingly now has a job. *eye roll*

I am sure there is MUCH more on my mind, that was just the tip of the iceberg.

Right now I am in the middle of rearranging to make room for the HUGE BIRTHDAY BASH this weekend. The kids can't wait!!
I will have SIX eleven y/o boys, SIX eleven y/o girls and TWO 13 y/o's.
Should be a WONDERFUL 2 days!! Wish I had a pool!