~*~MERCURY RETROGRADE IN VIRGO~*~

OH- Happy Happy Joy Joy {yes- that IS sarcasim you hear!}

When Mercury is retrograde, everyone's thinking is more introspective and we tend to think about issues and concerns which relate to the sign involved. Virgo is the throne of Mercury and also the sign of his exaltation, so Mercury is very powerful when placed there. With Mercury retrograde in Virgo, people with this sign prominent in their charts will be especially prone to such introspection. There is little choice but to reconsider our personal views and opinions about life. There is, however, an opportunity to gain insight into our own ego.

Mercury retro in Virgo brings intellectual confusion and mixups over important details. Analytical analyses are thwarted and educational issues are thrown into turmoil. People tend to change their minds, being unduly influenced by the persuasive power of others. Self-confidence is threatened and we tend to be too impatient and overly critical. The need for perfection conflicts with the less-than-perfect world. Workers tend to strike, or generate difficulties. Matters to do with all professionals, especially those in the healing arena, tend to find obstruction, or confusion. The military is subject to problems through poor communication and faulty intelligence.

All areas of communication are affected. Methods and motivation for learning, communication and transportation are subject to difficulties under this aspect. It brings travel snafus and missed appointments of all kinds. Documents can go astray. Be sure to carry a diary and refer to it often.

On August 10th, 2004, Mercury turns retrograde again, sending communications, missed appointments, mail and the www into a general snarlup! This awkward period begins a few days before the actual turning point (as Mercury slows) and lasts for three weeks or so, until September 2.

~SKOOL DAYZ~

My oldest is going to be waking up in about 10 minutes. Today is the first day back to school for them! I AM SO HAPPY! They are so happy. They miss their friends a lot.

Samantha I think misses school the most. She craves it, the challenges, the work, goddess I pray she stays that way! I am sure they all feel the same, however, she is so much more vocal about it. She is in chorus and already trying to figure out how to get into all of the musicals this year.

Brittany gets to move across the street to the high school buildings this year. It is a huge move for her class. Even I was confused the night of open house, but I am sure that she will catch on fast. She takes band this year and is going to play her clarinet. She has quite the talent and I am sure there will be many concerts to go to this year.

Zac is in a mints class room this year. Everything is done on computer. He should like that a lot even though right now he is very nervous about it. I know, as his mother, he will do exceptional, as he has a gift for electronics. I am not sure yet what extra activity to get Zac into this year.

I really LOVE their school- they have so much to offer- I just wish they offered Spanish or other languages for this grade. They do in Wisconsin and the kids there are doing great at a young age.
So far I am please with the teachers they all have, with every year, we shall see what the year brings.

So I am done working for the night.....Nothing.....No calls...Only assholes...Sometimes {some} men are so blahhhhahahahah......Anyway....Off to shower.
TTFN..........BB

***GREAT NIGHT***

I just finished a fantastic night! I have to say that I have the worlds most perfict job! I meet all kids of interesting people, I laugh, talk on the phone, chat with my "old" buds and I get paid $60.00 an hour to do so! WOOT!
The more I get out there, or I should say, the more I learn how to "bait-&-hook" the more calls I get. I should have thought of this LONG ago!
Tonight, with all the fun I had, I made $240.00. That is in a five hour time period only. I can't wait for winter to get here....the weather outside will be frightful, but the girls on the phone are DELIGHTFUL!

~~RAINY DAYZ and NICK-NAMES~~

I am still trying to get my body adjusted to this working over night stuff. I never believed that it was the most healthy thing to do as us humans are not nocturnal animals. However, I must do what I need to do to make it in this world. It is just hard when your body does not work well with WEATHER FRONTS! I LOVE storms! We have had two days worth of beautiful storms but.....my aches and pains.... OI!!

I DID have a great night last night though. I now have a regular customer who spends an hour a night with me. {Income I can count on} I also started running another phone number, to double my calls coming in. My first week of work was not bad at all, considering I am a newbie. Boss says she keeps forgetting I am new {big grin} I am just a natural. Mom always used to call me "Dr. Ruth" when I was young, I guess that wasn't too far from the truth! I am now being referred to as "SYBIL" as I can get into any roll, anyone's mind, any fantasy and play along. I can change my colors to fit anyone's needs. LMAO {winks at my dearest friend!}
I suppose being a Dr Ruth, a Sybil and a chameleon all in the same lifetime is how you can make the big bucks-huh??!!
I mean, really, this job was so made for me! I love it! I {we girls} have such a great time with the guys that call! The guys have such a great time too! I know they do or they would not call back! ;)
Anyway....Calls are rollin in.....until later!! SMOOOOOOOOO

~*~ NEW CHAPTER ~*~

Well I am on my fifth night of work. I work from home, on the phone and I have the potential of making some really $$good money$$! I talk to men, first online and then once I get them hooked they call me. In only five days I have gotten a taste of just about every fetish out there.
Those of you who know me well, know that I am a "FETISH" type person! I have many fetishes and have lived in relationships that supported my fetishes. Life is way too short not to experiment! I love to have fun, get messy, expand my mind, push my limits- PUSH YOUR LIMITS! It is what I do, It is what I enjoy!
This job is giving me the oppertunity to expand my mind even more. I am getting to know myself on a much deeper level.
All my life I have been a SUBMISSIVE woman....thinking that it was my place in this world to bow down to men. Well not anymore! The calls I am recieving are bringing out my extremely strong, very controling, seductive, sometimes sadomasicistic DOMME.
I think that for 33 years I have hidden behind my submission. That way I would not have to get to know the real me. I am now opening doors.
YES- right now it IS all the anger coming out for all the men that have ever hurt me, that is my Sadomasicism. The pain that was given to me from childhood until now can not stay bottled up, BUT you have to admit-this is a fantastic way of letting it out! The men LOVE it and I am making money doing it!!!
So far I have done "forced Femme", "Mommy", and "Domme" along with my "regular" calls. I will blog in more detail about some calls soon.

As far my children, you ask??? I am a VERY over-protective mother. TOO over-protective some would say. I work after the children have long fallen asleep, I work all night long and nap in the day. Right now it is hard as hell but will be easier when they are in school!

Where are my Pictures????

My Photo host is seriously pissing me off! I think I might change my blog entirely, so get ready!
I am starting a whole new chapter in my life so now is as good a time as any!

~A Look At My Grey Matter~

Grandpa died on Sat. night. His spirit left his body at around 4:30, I felt him and called mom. His body died at 11ish PM.

I am gaining weight.....stuffing down feelings with food. I have a food "drug" of choice-Peanut Butter and Honey Sandwiches and lots of them.

Depression SUCKS...where the hell does it come from?? How does it happen?? How the hell do you get rid of it??
WHAT HAPPENED TO ME?

The only good things in my life right now are my babies and my BF! And I am hanging on to them with claws buiried DEEP! I truely hope I am not affecting them to badly with this.

I HURT.....PAIN PAIN GO AWAY...........I have shit to do today!!!!

The article read:

"The way to achieve inner peace is to finish allthe things you've started.

"So I looked around the house to see all the things I started and hadn't finished...

and before coming to work this morning I finished off a bottle of red wine,

a bottle of white, the Bailey's, Kahlua and Wild Turkey,

my Prozac, some valium and a box of chocolates.

You have no idea how freakin good I feel...

You may pass this on to those you feel are in need of Inner Peace...

~UPDATES~

So after blogging last night I couldn't sleep. I set my alarm for 6 AM and went to bed, like normal but my eyes where not staying shut! I had a ton on my mind and before I knew it, I had stayed awake, bouncing off the walls until 5:15AM! YEP- got a whole 45 MINUTES of sleep last night.

So all that lost sleep was for nothing cuz according to my doc, I am just fine! Unchanged since the last MRI and he don’t want to see me for a year! {WOOT! Doing the happy dance!}
I DO, however, need to go to ALL my other docs’ cuz he is, after all, JUST a surgeon! {whateva}
I swear they are all somehow all in this together splitting the money they make off of me! Like I am a valley ball...I get served from one office over the sidewalk to the next and back again! As long as they keep my brain in my head- it's all good!

SO ANYWAY!
MY JOB......I will be doing phone work from home. I have done this before but the company I was with didn't pay very well at all. I think I will have better luck with this company. PRAY-PLEASE.....

MY FAMILY
Grandpa is still here and will be going to my cousin’s home on Hospice Care. I plan on spending as many hours helping as I possibly can. I want him to be okay with leaving this world. I want him to know that this is a very blessed event, he has lived a very full life with many challenges and hardships and it is just time for rest.
I watch and listen to my mom and aunt. They are being so strong. They where not very close to him, he was just never that way, but close or not, this is HARD. They have so much responsibility falling on their shoulders right now and I am most certain that they do not want it. Nobody wants that. I am just not sure how to help. If I were closer to the family maybe I would know. Right now all I can do is put myself out there and say "here I am and I am available."
The good thing is.... my grandma and I are becoming very close though this. A loss in the family can tear it apart or bring it together. It will be interesting to see what happens to my family this time, usually we get torn apart.

~STILL ALIVE~

I know it has been a long while since I have blogged. It has been a long while since I have done anything, really. It seems that way anyhow. Not sure what is wrong here. I can blame it on the weather cuz that normally works. I just have not felt like doing anything at all as of late. I have been extremely fatigued, I could almost say- Chronically fatigued - all I want to do is sleep all day!

I can't wait to start my job on the 17th....it means that money will be rolling in two weeks after that....so IF my stress is financial, at least that will be taken care of. My worry is - will I feel like working or will I be too tired?

The kids start school in 18 days! I should be REALLY happy about that and so should they BUT...no money = no school supplies.........it really sucks and my pride will not allow me to go get FREE stuff. I mean, I do when I am in NEED, like when we are starving or naked. I figure I have 18 days to get my shit together and ask mom..........{{grrrrrrrrrrrrr}} but really- what would I do without her??!! I just hate the fact that I have to take from them and really I don't think they are doing much better than I am. It is my hope that someday- VERY SOON - I can start to repay them.

On another note......
My grandfather is dieing.......in the hospital.....waiting to die.
Can you imagine? Knowing that at any minute you will just ....... die .......
I guess we are all waiting to die. Everyday our lives become shorter. At least we are not lieing in a damn bed, unable to get up and walk, cook, be with our loved ones, waiting to die.
He is so sad. So damn depressed and it pissed me off that those nurses where not there to walk him. Just walk him for 5 minutes......they would rather sit on there fat asses and stuff their faces and gossip than walk a poor DIEING man! UGGGGGG
I know the reason this makes me so mad is because I do not know him. He is my maternal grandfather and I do not even know who he is. I know his name, I know stories about him, I know what he looks like, but I do NOT know HIM! and it pisses me off.
I am sick and tired of my family members dieing off- family that I SHOULD know- without me knowing them.
I can no longer blame anyone but myself for this. I am a 33 y/o woman, they are MY family and it is up to me now to get to know them. Just gets a little scary to know that some of your closest relatives don't even know who you are or that you even exsist.
For goddess sake, my mother had to INTRODUCE ME TO MY OWN GRANDFATHER........
Time for me to make a move on this.....I WANT my children to know and be close to their family! They have MANY cousins, we actually have a nice size family! SO WHAT if they all don't get along.....that can not matter to me anymore....they are MY BLOOD.

eeeewwwww ....sorry for that...... damn. Just a bit of a rant I should be grateful I have a blog!
The kiddos want SUGAR!! {gooey butter cake}} yummmmmmmmm
BB

*!!We have a new addition to the family!!*



His name is Tito and he is a belated Bday gift for Samantha. He is 12 weeks old and was brought to us from a VERY dear friend! Thank You, Nan!



I don't think he has been put down for more than 5 minutes since he has been here. When Samantha puts him down, I pick him up! He is just so dang cute.....I just wanna eat him up!

Of course you can go to my photo blog and see our other kitties and what they have to say about our new arrival!

~*~SIGH~*~

I'm kinda too pooped to pop and have been for a couple days now. I have REASON- a GOOD reason!
On the 29th Chad and I went to see Van Halen! We had floor seats, right in front of the stage and in the middle of all those crazy VH Fans! The guys where so GREAT! Sang all my fave songs! Alex did a drum solo that brought tears to my eyes! Eddie started to play the song he wrote while he was awaiting the birth of his son, as he played, his son {Wolfgang} walked out on stage and played along with him! OMG! How SWEET!

The whole time I looked like I had just stepped out of a shower-was sweating like crazy!

The band that opened for VH......SHINEDOWN.....Was also VERY FAB! They are defiantly coming up big! My fave song from them {right now} is "45", if you can you should listen to some of their songs! They had a great time on stage!

So was it all worth the 24+ hour pain- TREMENDOUS PAIN that I went through after the concert????
Honestly, I could not answer that question until the pain went away.....now I can honestly say....
YES....VH WAS SO VERY WORTH IT!

It also helped that my love, Chad, was here to help take care of me, rub me, hold me, just love me! Thank you baby! I love you!