Child Support, Disabilities, Money in general……



…….I think I have just about had it. Last night I got a phone call from my ex, bio-dad of the children. We have been divorced now for many years, he WAS paying child support pretty regular for a couple years until he decided to move home with his mommy and get drunk. He is an alcoholic. I went through many years of Al-anon with this man-learning that I needed to change myself, leave him be. It was hell, too much hell for a 6am blog.So he calls me-DRUNK-I, in the softest tone I can manage, say, “how are you?” He grunts…..this is how the conversation goes.
He hasn’t spoken to the children since July. In July he was here, on his way to Nevada, he told the children that he would call. Ok so he DID call, six months later and ONLY after I called his mother earlier that day to make sure he was still alive. He now expects me to let him speak to the children. The same children that I have had to comfort through six months of broken promises, broken hearts, tears. I wouldn’t let him- Was I wrong to not let him talk to them? He was slurring speech…could have made MORE hollow promises?? Am I wrong for protecting them?
So, being the alcoholic that he is, he blames me for their upset. OF COURSE it is my fault-well why the hell didn’t I think of that!! Could have saved myself a hell of a lot of heart break! So- {forgetting all that Al-anon had taught me} I say, "it is a little hard to pay for long distance for them to call you when you aren’t paying child support!!!"
He says…”grunt…wha?? I pay…well YOU better call someone then!”

Right...........it was then that I realized- USE WHAT THE GODS GIVE YOU TO USE damn it!!!!
I am counting pennies to eat here! Going to the ^^*&^ Salvation Army to feed my kids and I have a dead beat dad that owes back child support and a disability that I can USE to get what I NEED to get by.

I have never been that type of person. The type of person that says “YOU OWE ME….because…” Now the child support is a given. To me if he doesn’t want to support his children, he is just making his own bed. I will never talk bad about him in front of them but they do know that because he isn’t working he is not sending support. I am just going to have to start looking at this like Judge Judy does….He helped me make these children….he WILL help me pay for them too! As of today, the child support case will be moved to MY state of residence and I will get MORE that what he wants to pay.
{Side note-we were divorced in Florida, as far as the child support, he was able to choose an amount feasible to what he thought he could pay, which for an electrician is very low-$418. for three children a month-as I dumb ass I just agreed}


As far as my disability status, I am planning on getting my handicap plates so that I do not make myself ill by walking too far when I do not need to or on bad days. Those of you that know me know that I will only use it when I most desperately need to anyway. {Just can’t stand the title} I will also get food stamps and anything else my DFS office will help me out with.

I had a really bad experience with the Salvation Army because I didn’t tell them about the cost of my trips to Columbia for doctors appointments and surgeries when we where going though my finances. I didn’t tell them because I didn’t want to “USE” my disability to get “freebies”., but damn it……I have it…….I may as well use it!!!!



whooooooo----needed to get that off my chest!!!!