Been doing a lot of reading lately. Aiyana and Kira are 2 of the wonderful women I have been reading most at times it is torturous and other times quite soothing.
Most who know me know that I am a submissive woman and my ex was my "Master", Oour relationship started and stayed that way until he became ill and had to leave the 7 year relationship. Relationships before that I was able to mostly be myself but not to that extent. I would be lieing if I said I didn't miss it-heck I still hold my sub page and visit it often, myself! I do NOT miss HIM- he hurt me, badly, I miss ME-the TRUE me. When He left, I had to hide the true me and become the dominant one to survive. It is working, I am getting things done, the kids are happy and actually benefiting. When I get things done I feel pride- pride is a happiness but can you be happy if you are unable to be yourself?
It is quite funny, the man I am with now possesses a very natural, innate dominance. He is very quite, soft spoken but I always know when he means business! I have always been able to read his cues, looks, breathes.....we have had talks about the D/s life but he is so much more comfortable keeping it natural. We have been together for about six months now and his dominance shows more every day.
When he gets aggressive, I giggle, of course under my breath, before I do what he wants because I feel so VERY GREAT to be back in that state! It is just so different with us compared to the other R/L relationships I have had. It is not forced, planned....Just natural.
I want to thank you girls for finding my blog, letting me look at me again, the me that I had hidden for such a long time. I think it is time for her to shine once more!