Profound Passions of Persephone: September 2005

9.11.2005

I REMEMBER

America Attacked 9 11

Video
And as my search to remember 9 11, I found my voice. If you havn't noticed, there are no post about the Hurricane here.
Why??
Cuz I have no balls, no strength to deal with hate mail,

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Oh Camilla

You have given me strength today. You are such a wonderful tiny being and I can see in your eyes how very strong and determined you are.

I want to thank my dear friend for sending me your link and because your daddy said it was okay to share, I am going to post your link right here. That way others can see what a beautiful baby girl you are.

CAMILLA APRIL

I want to say thank you to your mommy daddy for sharing your story. You simply amaze me!

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9.10.2005

Quick update~

I would update lots more if the kiddos would let me have the other computer.
~sigh~ This laptop likes to delete stuff as I type it, I have no idea why, just cuz.

Anyway, I know you *Mrs. Blog* have not heard from me in quite awhile, so here are a few highlights of my forever F*CKED up life.

I am really very happy, don't get me wrong, but it really doesn't matter with me. When I am happy and well, things AROUND me get out of whack. When things around me are happy & well, I am outta whack. Does this seem crazy to you, cuz I am really starting to wonder.

I am moving, like yesterday!! The poser, slumlord, idiot, fat slob I rent from messed up big time, his 3rd and final time! What did he do?? Well, he got home at the same time the kids did the other day. They were being dropped off by a friend and he was trying to pull in to the alley. Well, being impatient that day, not high enough on his dope, or whatever, he decided to take his frustration out on my oldest.
Now, as most people know, the first time he raised his voice to my children, I told him he had another chance but mess that up & he would be sorry. The 2nd time, all I had to do was put my hands on myhips and the fat fuck dropped to his knees and teared up with appologies. This time, F*CK him! I have him by his balls and he screwed up! Lost his mind, forgot about how I know the password he uses for EVERYTHING, forgot how I know what is wrong with this building and that he is breaking some major Fedral laws, forgot that I know he leaves his dope out all over the place he lives and can easily be busted. Forgot it all and then, because he was high, messed up. See what drugs can do?? Aren't they grand??
*looser*
So Monday I am going out to Imperial, Kimmswick and putting down money on my new apartment. 3 bedrooms, laundry off of my kitchen, HANDICAPPED ACCESSABLE, pool, rec room, you name it, I got it at the same price as here. The kids will be switching schools but ending up in a much better school, a much better life situation all the way around.
Then, after I have all but one load of my stuff moved outta here, just when he least expects it, all hell will break loose. His hell, the hell he called for when he chased my eldest daughter and threated her and upset her.
I AM THE ONLY ONE THAT WILL EVER MAKE MY CHILDREN UPSET, ONLY ME, if I need to.
Everyone that knows me knows that.
grrrrr so this happened Thursday and I am still just as angry, maybe more, and that is okay.

Other than that everything is going well with me. I am still working, at home, packing badges for my company. After the hurricane, we have a TON of work, so I am doing really good for myself!
John will be getting on at the same place but working in house on Monday. Moving to Imperial will put me much closer to work so all my money won't be going to gas thank goodness.

*sad*
It seems like ALL of my friends are sick or injured in some form or another. I have been praying so much (something I normally do not do). I just can not stand to see others fight illness and I wish I could take it all away from them. This has been something lately that I am really struggling with. I know I need to take care of me and if I get to close to their illness' it will take away from me & my family. I do this to myself and it is something I am learning not to do one step at a time.
On the flip side of that, if I don't get into their illness', I feel like I am not being a good enough friend. I try, I hope they can see that and I want them to all know my prayers and thoughts are with them, everyday.

okay, Sam is having trouble pulling out her last tooth, I must assist her.
If there are spelling errors on this post, my appologies, like I said in the beginning, this laptop likes to delete my words. Maybe cuz I bitch too much?? lol
I will fix it when I get my hands on the other computer.

Later, my love to all.

{{I hope the *SAD* part of this blog, the one about my friends, doesn't read as a rant of some sort. It is not a complaint at all, just me caring about each of them and not knowing how.))

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